Ingrid works as the Social Media and Resource Specialist for Women’s Ministries in the New Zealand, Fiji, Tonga and Samoa Territory. Find out about the 10 Days of Body Kindness, a resource produced by Ingrid.

‘I went on my first diet when I was 10. Instead of learning how to nourish my body, my teenage years were defined by calories, diets and weight. I developed a disordered relationship to food and with every failed diet my self-loathing grew stronger. 

‘Every day I got up, looked in the mirror and said, ‘You are disgusting.’ This was just my normal. And for many reading this, it’s your normal too. It’s so normalised, we don’t even question it. By the time I was in my early twenties, this self-hate had become an ever-present shadow. After another restrict-binge cycle, I literally lay on the floor before God, and said: “I don’t care what happens, I can’t go on like this. God, please save me.” 

‘I knew very little about eating disorders and didn’t know who I could turn to, but the Holy Spirit took me on a journey of healing. Every day I woke up with a new instruction God had written on my heart. The first was to look in the mirror and say, “You are beautiful.” It took me six months before I could mumble those words aloud. 

‘One day I went for a walk, and God gave me a vision: I saw mountains and waterfalls, the depth and breadth of God’s creation. I saw how every leaf, every plant and every drop of water is different, and that’s what makes it so beautiful. I felt God say, “You are part of this. You are part of my creation. And when you disrespect yourself, you are disrespecting my creation.” 

‘I learnt in that moment that hating myself was not normal, or God’s intention for me. In fact, any unloving thoughts I had towards myself were not from God. The voice of God is always loving and compassionate.’