Eva, Sweden

Commissioner Eva serves as the Zonal Secretary for Women’s Ministries in Europe.

‘Tests, examinations, doctors and cancer. How does one cope with illness, despair and anger, perhaps most of all fear? They told me I will lose my eyesight. Grief has moved in and impudently left its toothbrush on the bathroom shelf of my soul. A clear indication of the intention of staying put. Even though I know there are no monsters under my bed, I still feel as if they are living inside my trembling body. 

‘I’m not particularly unique. Most of us experience this wretchedness at some point in life. The fear of not being able to cope. 

‘I go to the toilets at the hospital. It’s as bleak, sterile and unwelcoming as my illness. This was where I went that day when I first got the news. Don’t ask me how it happened, but from that moment he took an unwavering and firm grip on me. God. He explained that life is not only about continuing to breathe. The miracles he performs are not only about perfect health or flawless eyesight. Not even about days free from pain. His miracle for me is to take one day at a time, to be able to laugh in the midst of misery. A miracle of trust in the face of darkness. A miracle of calm when all is chaos. A miracle of being borne. In the midst of everything. Through everything.